Currently Reading Lolita By Vladimir Nabokov see related

A Man Can Dream.          

            Though I’ve been thinking about things all these time, it’s just now that I could really get a hold on to the situation. I’ve been writing about this happenings and memories for a long time, wondering what went wrong, what have I done to ruin it all, or have I ruin anything at all to begin with?

            I’m quite confused on how to say things, thinking that I should always remember to be sensitive about the feelings of people that circle me. But marking the spot in the center, everything just turns out to be a negligible act of inappropriate feelings, like having the courage at the wrong time.

            Am I just gullible or she’s just insensitive? I can’t really answer things that would lean on to something that’s far better worse than not saying anything at all. But can someone tell me how do you pretend to be just fine after all this time?

            On a deserted land where all I can feel is the scorching heat of the sun and the brush of indifferent air, I must find a way so as I whisper: "Every time I see her, she jokes about my feelings for her, I mean it’s just a joke for her but within the scenario I am left in the crossroads.  I’m always trying to decipher where these things would lead me up, but in the end it’s a game of choosing what to believe in; and that makes it even harder. Choosing between letting yourself drown into the sea of happiness that lingers with every sweet word refreshing my skin under the bright sun that comes out of her mouth or hurting yourself because of the concealment of the truth that for her it’s just nothing. Complicated as it may sound, but try me it’s like a crossword puzzle without the clues for I keep on guessing that it get frustrating."

            I can’t understand how I feel about her. One minute I think I have moved on, then after the clock ticks I’m on the battlefield again. There comes a time that I think I’m just exaggerating my feelings like those in the novels and movies which feed my hopeless romantic fantasies, and I’m afraid I’m becoming one of the characters. But then, we must think that these characters are based on reality, so maybe then again what I feel is still true. That after all this time, after all the shortcomings and trials that I face, I can still overcome the vicissitudes of this ever sacrificial life.   

             I’m still hoping for a day where autumn leaves will shed like the poignant memories of the past, and we’re walking holding hands forever; breathing the air that passes through us as if we have breathed for the first time. Not even taking a glance to where we are but just to one another’s eyes wishing for one more lifetime to spend time together, love each othe     

            After all, a man can dream.

"the water is rushing in
i feel it on my skin
our boat is sinking now
i wake up i grab my things
as the waves keep rolling in
i ask myself oh whats the point
whats the point of it all
whats the point

give me heart, just give me hope
give me love, just give me rope
give me all i never knew
give me something to hold on to

time goes by so slow
when you’re waiting for a rescue boat
the waters getting cold
and the ocean is not a home
when you’re feeling all alone
well its time to let you go
let you go
let you go

all i ever really wanted was time
all i ever really wanted was time
all i ever really wanted was time
dream"

-Give me Heart by Susie Suh

Currently Reading The Picture of Dorian Gray (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (Barnes & Noble Classics) By Oscar Wilde see related

When someone knocks at your door but then you didn’t even dare to walk towards it; and then later on you found yourself saying the words “I could have opened the door for that person.”

When you’ve done everything you can but still you felt short with others’ expectations. When you thought you’ve given your best but still it wasn’t enough.

When there’s something you wanted to do but you didn’t; something you wanted to say but until now remains a secret.

What if it’s the other way around?

What if it’s the other way?

What if it’s the?

What if it’s?

What if?

What?

Questions, but they aren’t just questions. They are words that irrevocably conjure the pain. They are words that seemed to linger in the axiom of every reality and dream. They are words that weren’t supposed to be said; if only…

Of infinite numbers are the answers to why every person in this world suffers regrets. One cannot travel this life without the intrusion of such anguish. The very moment that you say you “should have done” this or “could have done that” remains a strong fact over your futility to such indispensable happening.

There’s something special about Regrets that scorches every bit of your thinking; trying to squeeze every bit of sanity. Sometimes it loiters more than it should in your mind; it’s as if you are on an expedition of endless façade of suffering.

But I really do think that Regret is a product of our profanity against one’s capacity. The thought of how we do things and how we do it in an adverse way because of the carelessness and lack of enthusiasm are just the start of the questions. Maybe it is because we are all imperfect in between the spaces in our fingers up to the words that mumble out of our mouth.

“Once is enough, twice is too much,” is another phrase that has been used so many times just to remind people how we easily forget the lessons we’ve learned. You may regret something you have done once, but regretting a second happening of the same nature may be morbid for your own sake.

Regret is where you’re on a diet but you keep on eating doughnuts.

Regret is where you see you’re ex with his/her new one.

Regret is where you could have done your part but ending with nothing because of waiting for the other.

Regret is where you study hard but is partying harder.

Regret is taking for granted.

You cannot live a life without regrets but you can sure live a life with less of it. By being the person you wanted to be, by loving with no conditions, and by doing anything with the best you can.

When someone knocks at your door but then you didn’t even dare to walk towards it.

Just say, “Wait a minute, I’m coming,” if you can’t open the door right away.

Regrets.

I could have written this one better… but then I’ve said all that I’ve got to say.

She was with me just yesterday,

We talked and then --

We laughed and then --

We walked…

She said that she’s taking me to the man that she truly loves…

I though we are walking to a glass

But it was another, yes it was another…

And I could have awakened myself just a little bit earlier…

Into this reverie that leads me to my last breath. --- Lance Contego (Reverie)

Currently Listening Apologize By Timbaland see related

SOngs of oUr Lives

    How do you remember someone? Is it with a picture? A place? A Food? or even a Song?
   
    As for me, I remember something or someone in many ways and one of them is by the thing which I love the most; and it is music. Songs give me a glimpse of someone, it such an amazing tool that let's you wonder what she or he is doing, or simply  makes you think of everything you both shared together.
      
    Here's a list of the songs that makes me remember someone (pick a paper and write the first person that you remember with these songs let’s see if in the end we indeed have the same answers.):

The Songs

1. Drop it like it's hot by Snoop Dogg feat. Pharell Williams - Well I think we all remember him while listening to this smooth rap that makes you bounce your shoulders and simply say the words "Drop it like it's hot..."

2. Torn by Natalie Imbruglia - who could think of any other person while hearing the words "I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I'm ashamed lying naked on the floor..."   

3. Better Days by Dianne Reeves – I cannot be contested if I say that I always remember him when listening to the song. It’s as if he owns the song for he actually have his own wild and weird interpretation it. Imagine him singing “You can get to no better days, unless you make it through the night…”

4. Selfish by Sunset Daze – I can’t remember if she’s the one who made me like the song. I just remember that it’s her favorite too. “No sense of reason, why do you have to believe it?”

5. Mr. Brightside by The Killers – I think I’m the one who introduced the song to him. But I never knew that it is his favorite not until when we both attended a concert of Hale and he actually screamed “Shit! Favorite ko ‘yan!” Honestly I don’t remember the exact words but I’m sure of the song.

6. Kiss me by Sixpence None the Richer – Imagine the scene, in Batangas she was seriously singing this song, with some deficiency on the tone and the pitch. Well that was really an unforgettable moment for me. We all miss her…

7. Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani – “It’s that shit, it’s that shit!” that was the title that he gave to me when I asked him what song will I put on the cd that I will play on his birthday. Where the hell can someone give a title like that? Honestly, I always laugh when I hear the song.

8. Hero by Mariah Carey – Mr. Isorena asked her to sing a few lines after telling the class that she knows how to sing. And that was like 6 or 5 years ago, but I can still remember her singing in front of the class blushing.

9. Can’t Take That Away by Mariah Carey – Well one thing you can’t take away from this person is his addiction to Mariah Carey. He likes Mariah very much that he subdued himself to do the whistle register; but I think he can really do it but with no tone.  

10.  Do You Really Want Me by Robyn – When she sings this song, it’s as if she’s seducing you. She puts a lot of passion on the lyrics; but I guess it’s quite effective.

11. We Belong Together by Mariah Carey – Whenever I hear the lines “When you left I lost a part of me…” I just remember him beat boxing and me singing it.

12.‘Wag na ‘ Wag mong Sasabihin by Kitchie Nadal – Justine and Andre always sings this song in front of Matthew back in high school. They sing it because of something, ok, just don’t ask why.

13. Don’t Forget About Us by Mariah Carey – It is funny that the line “When it’s for real, it’s forever…” makes me laugh. I remember him with this song because those words was about to be printed on the yearbook because he says it’s is his motto or philosophy and I even told him that it was good. Well I don’t know the song on that moment so I thought he really means it. But later on he told me that it was just a joke and he wants to change it.

14. My Humps by Black Eyed Peas – When she sings this song it will always be with the booty moves. Her partner: Bryan. I miss the time hearing this song from the other room and then seeing her happily dancing.

15. Yeah by Usher – He told me once that it the song of Usher is his most favorite; I wonder if until now it is. He even told me that he knows the lyrics.

16. Hold you Down by Jennifer Lopez and Fat Joe – Well, it was our song for each other back then. Plus she told me that she is J.Lo and I’m Fat Joe, how’s that? So ambitious girl!

17. Invincible by Christian Bautista – Need some explanation, well, with this song he gave me the Christian Bautista songs fever.

18. Gemini by SpongeCola – Poetic indeed but I’m not impressed. No explanation needed with this song.

19. Samson by Regina Spektor – She told me that this is a beautiful song and I’m glad that I listened to her.

20. Everytime I Close My Eyes by Babyface – It is his favorite song that is why I always remember him when I hear this song. He told me that it was really a good song but then I guess he doesn't have to say it because it really is.

21. Buttons by Pussycat Dolls – It’s been a year I think since she had the moves for this song but sadly the dance number was not pursued. But I always remember her with this song.

22. Jeepney by SpongeCola – I think with Yael’s voice no one can ever forget him because he sings this song almost everyday. By the way I don’t listen to this song for quite some time, you don’t have to wonder why.

23. Cruisin' by Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis- I wonder why she always sing this song in videoke. I mean the song was good but for her it was like the only song in the videoke.

The People:

1. Matthew Suyat
2. Jeremiah Reyes
3. Louie Angelo Manlapaz
4. Patriziah Camille Castardo
5. David Angelo De Guzman
6. Elyssa Johns Santos
7. Val Santos
8. Cristina Marie Cuadra
9. Ryan Joseph Dacillo
10. Joyce Anne Rivera
11. Andre Magallanes
12. Anastaezsa Ysabelle Alexis Rivera
13. Lauren Lloyd Del Mundo
14. Joan Denise Garcia
15. Nikko De Leon
16. Jamie Bueno
17. Martin Leandro Tablang
18. Maria Ana Carmela Peralta
19. Glowy Peach Manimtim
20. Nico Karlo Baduel
21. Sarra Jane Luayon
22. Rebo Mark Agustines
23. Karene Alonzo
    

Currently Listening Ayo Technology By 50 Cent Ayo Technology see related

 

So far that is my most favorite line from the La Sallian Community. I actually realized that I am where I should be; a family of faith and excellence. Coming from the trial of being suspended from the University Athletic Association of the Philippine or what we fondly call UAAP; they hailed from the Taft Avenue last October 7 to the Araneta Coliseum to ensure and bring home the Championship Trophy.

It has been a long and winding journey for the Green Archers starting off the season with a bang in the first game but then losing hardly on the UE Red Warriors and slipping a notch higher to the ADMU Blue Eagles.

On the second round, there’s no such difference, having a hard time throughout the game but then ending up on the losing side of the war with the UST Growling Tigers, Blue Eagles and Red Warriors because of the lapse in consistency primarily on the last minutes.

Striving for excellence, the Green Archers faced the Team Ateneo for the twice-to-beat advantage taking their redemption by owning the second spot. But then that was not the end of the saga for two more games was put into the courts to matched-up the skills and the passion of the two teams. It was a difficult test for both teams, but then “who wants it more” gets the spot, and on this case it was the Taft-based varsity.

A tough way, a string of difficult tests, a finals slot, and a match up with a team of perfection on the eliminations, this where they have gone through to get to the steeple of success. It was never easy for the Green Squad that is why the burning flame of passion has to come out to melt those fears away and plate it off with a shield so hard.

“It’s not how you start the season, it’s how you end the season.” Nice words from the guy behind the glory Coach Franz Pumaren.

On the part of the Red Warriors they really deserve to be on the finals, my blockmates and my friends from DLSU are all hesitant in answering whether they think that DLSU Green Archers would have the title; but then a sparkle of hope still lies on our hearts that no matter how strong they are it is up to us to match it up with the right passion and faith.

That is how a Champion faces the inevitable circumstances, the stingy fights, and well I think that’s the best way of bagging the title.

We’re back, we’re ONE LA SALLE.

ANIMO LA SALLE!!!

I just want to share some witty and funny slogans during games:

Ateneo: Suspended! Suspended! And Wrong Spelling! (Contemplating on the cheer dance where LA SALLE was misspelled as AL SALLE)

*Buti na lang sa La Salle nangyari ‘yung wrong spelling, dahil ang pangit kung sa Ateneo (Taeneo). –From a comment on the Ateneo Multiply by a La Sallian

La Salle: NU! NU! NU! (Sourced from the shocking loss of Ateneo to the NU Bulldogs)

---

Ateneo: Ang Sarap Maging Atenista.

La Salle: Walang Katulad ang maging La Sallista.

---

UE: 14-0 (A simple yet very powerful statement.)

La Salle: 14-0 Ends now. Animo La Salle!

---

            Ateneo: Suspended!

            La Salle: Words that do not destroy us, only makes La Salle stronger!

            ---

            La Salle: #384 #488 ‘Nuf Said. (From the THES-Q World Ranking of Universities)

---

“This is the only time that 2 is greater than 3.” – Franz Pumaren (after the victory from the twice-to-beat series of the UAAP Season ’70.)

What a wonderful Season for the whole UAAP Community.

“We Fight to keep your Glory bright, and NEVER SHALL WE FAIL.”

SMOKE

Smoke violently rubs against my nose; it clearly creates an entire feeling of uncertainty. It is indifferent to others, but as I take a step away from the surroundings it’s as if I was drowning in the sea of the death. I am not one; I am a part of where I am.

Letting go, why is it hard to do?

As the smoke in the place rush through my trachea, it sticks a note in my mind, it asks a question. Why can’t I inhale all the pain like that smoke from the cigarettes being burned by them in front of me? Why can’t I exhale all of the memories and start a new life?

Push through, stop awhile, listen to my heart and then the cycle just goes on; it never ends. It scratches the scar all over again, as if it wants some bleeding again. Stop. Just Stop. Please.

Easy words to say. Hard actions to do. Love embarked upon the soul. Self left from the past. I wanted to breathe the same air again. But then the smoke comes in.

Sometimes you just say to yourself that I can, I can really move on. There's nothing right now in my heart but just a piece of junk soaked from the bitterness of the past. But at the end of the day, it is nothing but a step closer to the yesterday that lingers on your mind.

Why is it that some things become choices, yet everything turns to be the only answer? For a question you raise; an answer they will give.

Yet it’s not enough, hold my hands and push me off the cliff. I want to move on, but I want to do it with you. A sprinkle of nonsense, a dash of being parsimonious, and the chopped pieces of my wholeness; let me, will you?

Why is it hard to do something you know you can't do? Is it true that you can't do it? Or you just don't permit yourself to pass on the new gates of life, because you're holding onto what's behind you. Coiled upon my heart, the snow of the summer sympathetically tickles my heart, breezing through the dizziness of the eyes that wanted to throw some tears; love me, why can’t you?

The smoke is gone, but the sting goes on.

The smoke is gone, but the smell lives on.

"It's hard to wait for something you know might not come, but it's even harder to give up that something when you know it's everything that you want." --

What hurts the most?

By: Rascal Flatts

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do